~ i am smiling ~

I wasn’t writing anything, to sit discussing on the yesterday’s butchery, not that I did not wish to, but because no word can ever express the magnitude, the graveness of the matter. On the morning news, I saw those parents wailing, weeping, pleading, cursing, parents they were. I tried to visualize the fear and pain those little hearts must have braved before tasting death. I cried, ‘just’ silently cried.

I still wouldn’t express grief, condemn, or wish for any change in the coming days, for it seems a distant dream now. I just want and wish them to burn in hell for every innocent drop of blood they have shed. Let they be damned for ever and ever. Aameen.

~ i am smiling ~

for i have been earnestly told,

that i am safe in my warm, cosy home …

i am smiling,

for i have not been teased, dragged in dark,

gnawed at my flesh, molested, or raped,

my entrails, not yet fisted by some cannibal,

my feminity smiles, spared from being mutilated,

rod-stirred, object-stuffed, or wickedly gagged …

i am smiling,

for my child is so safely tucked,

with lovely, fancy bed time stories, in his bed

and no bullet or explosive, anywhere, is intended,

to buck my willfully sense-secured white hedge …

i am smiling,

for i have a movie to go to this weekend,

with my man without a feigning beard,

who is innocent of any wrong prosecutions,

a muslim, with a guiltless soul and chart …

i am smiling,

for i have condemned all the ‘aforesaid’ acts,

through li’l poems, one-liners, silence and spats,

and culled a tad attention towards my big heart,

making one responsible living thing of me, haven’t i?

i am smiling,

for humanity is just not at stake, or at test of time,

but already in dearth, in a dark pit, a cul-de-sac

with its both hands resting in its lap, and a smile,

limping thin legs, pitched in one slaughter-house,

that bears a neon billboard—‘barbarian to the core’ …

i am smiling,

for carnage, massacre, bloodbath, manslaughter,

not exposed to the enactment of any of these words,

i am so safe, so contended for not being one of ‘those’

though i condemn and express my grief, much duly …

i am smiling,

and will smile, for i was gifted as such by my God,

when i was born, i henceforth resolved to only smile,

till ………………………………………………

well … i was never sure … are you smiling anymore?

PS – ‘i’ stands for how diminutive we get, we feel, at the advent of such mishaps.

~ Wotta Mess? ~

~ Wotta Mess? ~

Mind you,

She’d never whine

A regaling, richly scarlet nubile,

Singing balmy hymns,

In husky mermaid voice,

To her thalassic countrymen!

Façade real, regal, a ripened tomato,

Busiest in a subconscious, subfuscous temp,

Caught in between those lousily eager fingers,

When bred in uncertainty, is squashed,

It chuckles,

Waggles,

Squiggles,

Trickles,

But still wouldn’t whine,

Just humming and weaving songs of hope into drones of despair …

Dripping seedy, murky red,

To dapple your satin white frock or tweed cream coat,

Before giving up on its fine, seamless, delicate skin,

And, leaving you into an amusing but precisely precious mess!

‘Ou! Wotta mess!’ now you whine!

Ah dear! Life is just like that …

~ I wait for you! ~

~ Unexpected wouldn’t dread me, but that already occurred, happened, seen as a reality in my hind-mind, something I foresee would. There lies my greatest fear of it someday gaining under its wobbly feet – no more boggy but a resolute ground! ~

~ I wait for you! ~

Furred fear,

Canines dug deep,

Feeding on my soul’s sickled tallow,

Skew ridden,

A louse, happily homing in my nightmares’ hair …

Hounded me, since it alighted,

On the branches of our ever-so-innocent dalliance,

Dated a fresh life …

Our lives teaseled, tasseled, tousled as one

And yes today … it came so alive,

To take you away,

Clutched in its raw gnaw … held tight

And now, when you’re just so far, so away,

Like a piece of my heart has gone missing—

Though amazingly, I live still,

Heartbeats thoughtlessly bundled into one toilsome sheaf—

I sit amused at the remainder of my heart,

A laconic denuded alcove—

Where waits one last message to you,

To remain sadly forever like that,

Unsaid!

~ She was Lost! ~

Uljhi hoon yun tujh mein,

Ki suljhan se koson door hui …  

~ She was Lost! ~

Never knowing,

Where to go,

Egged on by her stifling urge,

She kept walking, walking down the road …

And now,

Ending up in here … where?

Not cognizing,

The faceless echoing directions,

Those tantalized by her blanch presence,

In their foreboding womb …

Where is she right now?

Flustered by her quarrelling, homeless thoughts,

She swallowed hard,

A plunge to be decided upon … to keep moving on?

For she, too, knew this and swore by her heart,

Those, with a beginning meek,

Are just simply forever lost!

Thus, she kept walking, walking down the road …

 

~ O’ Sleep! ~

~ O’ Sleep! ~

Centuries,

Seem to have passed,

Since I saw him last …

O’ Sleep! I beseech thee!

Embrace me,

In your shadowy arms

Engulf me,

Licking all my rosy charm,

Turn me slowly,

Into a pale memory of my own

Let my heart be incarcerated with his,

In a fancy, heavenly crystalline jar …

O’ Sleep! Take me to the same bewitching place,

Where water did never splash,

But went deep, deep and calm, and so lucid blue,

Where, he and I, twined in some pretty, misty lure,

Were walking towards the cherub-faced death,  

With placid, tidy steps …

O’ Sleep! Stay heedful but,

Wary of the nameless hand, so willing to draw me out,

From your enchanting, sopping trance …

O’ Sleep! Let none rouse you!

Let none pluck me!

For I wish to join him,

Just once … only this time!