Iridescent Poesies - Sadia

~ Jab tezz hawa chalti hai,

Kuch pattiyan ankhon se ojhal ho

Hawa ke rau mein beh jaati hain …

Kuch pattiyan tehni ke wajood ko chorh,

Wahin kahin, zameen pe gir jaana,

Zyada pasand karti hain …

Kuch waqti doori banana behtar samjhti hain,

Hawa ke bahav ka rukh kar

Tehni se zara-zara lagi rehti hain …

Unhe kya maaloom,

Woh tehni ke dil se utar rahii hain!

Lekin ek patti,

Tehni se lipat jaati hai

Ye soch, tehni ko woh shartiya girne ni degi …

Aur tehni— hawa se ladti hai—

Uss patti ki ummeed ko sookhne na dene ke liye,

Hara rakhti hai! ~

~ The one who 'ables' you, loves you beyond oneself;
and the one who 'disables' you, may just love anything but you.

Tum ko peeche rakh ke, aage rehne wale bohot milenge; tumhain aage badha ke, peeche khade rehne wala bamushkil ek milega! ~

~ I choose SILENCE!

I choose ME!

And you can walk to the land of mad,

To curse my shadow,

From below.

For you are only worth that

That you worth nothing. ~

~ Ye chaand hai na,
Ye chaand
Wafaaon se sada ka la'talluq raha hai …
Aaj utra hai aapki deewaron mein
Dastar'khwanon pe …
Kal kisi ki khaali ankhon mein hoga
Kisi ki bhooki panah'gahon mein hoga! ~

~ A tear has become of me,
Not knowing
What unseen(s) I will see
And where shall I sleep,
After my fall!

I seem to have even lost my path … ~

~ Back then,
While you were too busy,
Mocking at my miseries
Taunting for nonexistent beings
Being such acrid to me, and
Standing immune to my tears
Not letting my words touch your ears
Not giving a heck to 'Who is/was me' ...

Back then,
You lost me ...

You lost me as a leaf shrivels,
And falls!
Falls to perish,
And become the mud,

Unnoticed and uncared for! ~

~ In his satchel, hues galore;

Can paint woes into a clown

He paints to paint away,

Those eyes, and their frown

Not a color on his palette— yet—

Colors, they still glide down

Brush, a dainty pink glass,

And canvass, the entire town! ~

~ Muhabbat unki, bhawre ki rangeen hook; shabnam hui meri ankh,

Raat raat tarasti aur subah pah’r barasti, kaisi chuimui meri ankh!

His love, bumblebee’s bewitching drone; dew-drop becomes my eye,

Night fills the pail and dawn spills the pail, afraid and shy is my eye! ~

~ At times, my beloved, of your love

My heart gets so full,

And swells, pulling at the stitches—

That it aches!

Aches in the agony,

Of which I can not write.

But sure, will die of this misery,

Someday

Of keeping you inside me,

Yet loving you beyond any confines. ~

~ You are not mine to keep,

Or to stop;

I can only die of my sighs,

When you leave! ~

~ I am not these, as you perceive;

What you can’t see, I am that! ~

~ A thousand people I talk to,
Yet my Aloneness is unperturbed …
Her intoxicating hands laid most elegantly,
On the sides of her sinuous curve
A smile poised on her face; she stands tall!

Only a stone from you,
I wait— to shatter the glass of her window
To bring down all the walls enclosing me,
From a time beyond I can recall!

Call my name,
And make her fall ... ~

~ Rein in my body

Rein in my tongue

Veil the pearl of my face,

To conceal the sheen

Lower my lucid eyes,

So the dirty road, they should kiss …

Yet, I can’t be ruled!

No prison can hold my molten rage

Emulating a melody, my soul

Would leak through the confines …

For the heart and the mind —

These you ‘fail’ to know and see —

Aren’t such a wondrous craft?

To fly away, from your conceit …

Yes, I can’t be ruled! ~

~ A little blue bud,

Let me so bloom

Worrying my color,

You fetch me doom

Oh Mumma, why? Why?

A fate such, would loom!

Just let me bloom …~

~ Lingering to what lingers to me,

And not lingering to the unknown —

Becomes the key

To the joy of my being!

Do not call for me, hence

I am but on a long journey of unlearning … ~

~ Ae fankaar,

Baahon mein,

Saayon ko bhar ke,

Tujh ko paya tha maine!

Tu hai yahin maujood,

Mujhe maloom hai

Tujh ko kal sataya tha maine …

Phir kyon tu nahin hai?

Tu kahan hai,

Agar 'ye' tu nahin hai?

Reza reza khud ka, kaamdani bana,

Piro diya hai hawa ke pehlu mein,

Maine aaj …

Seh-pahar, hawa paedal nikal padi hai,

Beshak, namumkin si teri talaash mein!

Bass tu mil jaana na aaj …

Ae fankaar! ~

~~ Mere ghar mein chaar deewaren,

Teen pe aayne, aur ek khaali rahi …

Pehli deewar ke aayne ki jaan,

Mujh mein aa basi thi

Mere aks ko apni rooh bana kar

Woh ahiste ahiste ghul raha tha …

Par waqt ko ye saath raas na aaya,

Aur woh aayna bikhar gaya …

Doosre deewar ke aayne ne,

Shuru se hi munh mod liya

Uska mijaaz alhaida tha …

Teesri deewar ka rukh na kar ke,

Maine chauthi khaali deewar

Pe apna thaka wujood tika liya

Aur aayna dekhna chodh diya …

Phir ek roz, jaane kis sabab

Maine teesre aayna ki taraf dekha,

Mere hone ke saboot ko dhoonda,

Par mera aks nadarad tha!

Pareshan mujhe dekh wo’ aayna bola,

“Khud ko aise badal lao,

Mujh mein khud ko dekho,

Pehle aisa aks toh pao”

Apne hi aks ko dobara dekh pana,

Iss qadar mushkil hoga,

Maine socha nahin tha … khair …

Ab agar khud ko badal bhi deti hoon,

Toh kya khabar uss teesre aayne mein

Kisi aur ko paaun,

Main humesha ke liye kho jaun? Toh?

Chauthi khaali deewar mujhe aaj bhi bulati hai,

Mera aks pasheman hai,

Aur rooh bechen …

Mujhe ab khud ki haalat pe hansi aati hai! ~~

~ Teri khushmijaazi jahan jahan bhi giri,

Dekh main tinka-tinka phir samet laayi

Sab se jhuk ke milta hai ghar mera bhi
Teri khushmijaazi ki chatt isne paayi … ~

~ Saayon ko bahon mein bharna,

Hai tujh se muhabbat karna … ~

~ Muhabbat ke haseen afsanon pe … kya khak yaqin karoon,

Chahoon nigah main Khosrow ki, aur kitna Shirin banoon?

On fascinating yarns of Lovers’ tryst … my faith has abated,

For Khosrow’s amorous eyes, I as Shirin, have long waited! ~

~ Tumhare naam ke saath jab mera naam aata hai,

Dayra e Ufaq, sach bada yaad aata hai

Bada yaad aata hai …

Tum shafaaq Falak ho, aur main mutmaili Zameen,

Phir kaise humara sira mil jaata hai?

Sira mil jaata hai … ~

~ Behold the one more beautiful than you!
Not at skin, but deep …

There must be none,
Or else I, so mundane, were already dead
Of the sacred bequeathed kindness,
And of such benign perseverance …

Bring me, thus, even if only half of yours,
And I shall break away from this charm,
Willingly! ~

~ On this lonely, leisure walk through the virgin greens …
… I so wish you were here! ~

~ A dried, twisted twig even if I am,
Stack me now,
For burning someday …
Until I am grey and so fine
I shall warm your skin,
Before I am ash! ~

~ Teri chaahat yun qaabiz hui hai mujh pe,
Jaise paani tu hua ho,
Main machli ho gayi hoon
Haan main aise hi … teri hui hoon …

Ab tu iss ikhteyaar ki baat kare ya na kare,
Main saanson ke liye,
Tujh mein utar gayi hoon
Haan main aise hi … teri hui hoon …

‪

Imbued I am in your love thus,
Water has become you,
And a fish of me …
Such way I belong to you

You may never talk of this bond,
But to breathe, I am now
So immersed in you …
Such way I belong to you ~

~ Main ne poocha
Phir bola
Main ne phir bola
Phir main ne dohraya
Aaj main ne bolna chorh diya …
Tum ne na ehteraam kiya,
Na mere sawaal ka, na meri zidd ka,
Aur na kabhi meri fik'r ka …
Ab kaun sa lehja istemaal karoon?
Fik'r mein chupe ansuon ki awaaz ko,
Kaanon tak tumhare pohncha sakoon …
Jisse tum na sun paaye,
Ya shaayad … ansuna kar diya
Khuda behtar jaane! ~

~ Ye sata’h hai uski, woh kis qadar mutmayeen rahi,

Che feet neeche hoga uska maskaan, kisi ne na kahi …

Kudaal si chot, sabz apne seene pe, usne thi tab sahi,

Kisi bereh’m apne ne tha kaha jab, tu ab meri na rahi …

Zameen noch li paanv se, main murjhaayi doob wahi,
Zara rahii, baahon mein … mitti meri, meri mitti sahi! ~

~ Nahin khabar mujhe … aur kitni door talak ka saath hai,
Beech majhdhaar, tere hawaale, kaise patwar kar doon? ~

~ With rusted bearings, I cling onto you,

An old latch, on the door painted anew,

Blind I stay, for you stay locked on me

In your creaks, I hear of colors a few!

Zang lagii main, phir bhi tujh mein atki hoon,

Taaza ranga tu darwaaza, main sankal hoon,

Be-roshni hui hoon, jo tu peeth kiye khada hai

Naraazgi mein teri, main rang sun rahi hoon … ~

~ Thou art my chaste choice,
Albeit a tempestuous one! ~

~ Verses are my little whispers,

Small tears

And faint smiles

Those rolling off your tongue,

Sounding of muffled voices

Fading in your eyes …

But some will seep

Deep, so deep

In your heart

Some day …

And in the name of it, and you

I shall keep writing, just forever! ~

~ Kareene se lapet ke kaagaz mein, ye jo yaadein di hain,
Inn ko sunna tum, mere yahan se chale jaane ke baad … ~

~ Pretty,
Petty … a piece of poetry
Torn and incensed,
To rueful, sweet ashes …
Oh no, no,
I do not cry,
Look … my eyes are fug and dry
It's just the false fume,
The teary, teary, wry plume,
From the burning of glossy paper,
That has coldly stung,
My heart's eye! ~

~ Meri jild
Tajmahal si
Kuch kuch zard hui jati hai
Pak pak ke,
Pighalti jati hai
Tassaw'ur ki bhatti mein
Jab se charhi hai,
Neeli aanch pe, syaah intezaar ki
Faryeb si phisalti, teri ungliyon ke
Khushnuma ehsaas ki …
Ek maqbare mein laga,
Dhoop odhe khada, paseejta
Muddaton purana,
Pathar
Maazi jiska sang-e-marmar hua tha kabhi
Tujhe waqt, aur waqt, aur waqt se zyada
Kya de payega?
So de diya … tujhe
Be-inteha Waqt aur intezaar … apna …… ~

~ I was … I am no more,
My past … lost its shadow … ~

~ Life is one costly affair,
And at the frilly hem of it,
Paucity
Of all my innate indulgings
Has become my closest foe and ally …

Living … out of turn,
Never was less of a sin
A persistent sinner I am beginning to be—
Hail all! Harp on!
Indeed, pleasure here seems mine …

But to my earthly ears, tell it saintly
Should you be astounded,
To find me
Pawning out a few clammy final strides,
And the darks n' depths
Of my last sigh!

I am an honest … innocent liar
I adore death over life! ~

~ Losing … mine … which never was,
Reaps me a pain, too much to pass! ~

~ Knowing that you need me no more
I am turning myself, away from you,
With a knowledge, so meek and dull
That this is my 'Undoing',
After all my done-s. ~

~ Jitna kareeb aaoge,
Dhund mein,
Khud ko ghira paoge
Saanp ban rengengi,
Tumhare jism par,
Namumkin si,
Dabi dabi ye khaamoshiyan
Meri rooh mein,
Ek lambe arrse se basa
Shor dasega tumhain,
Jaise jaise raat gehrayegi …
Main kahan asaan hoon?
Mujh ko toh asaan,
 Ye dooriyan … kar deti hain … ~

~ आत्मा पर चढ़ी
सुंदरता की देह को चीरता
अनन्त को पुकारता
हर उत्सुकता का उत्तर
स्पर्श तुम्हारा …
भाषा जिसमें करते हैं
बात तुम्हारे दो नैन
देखती हो जैसे नई माँ
आश्चर्य से अपने बच्चे को
हाँ, आश्चर्य ही तो … और क्या …
खर्च होती हर घड़ी
घोलती जाती है जिसमें
एक रस निहित निःस्वार्थ सा
तथा होता है कोमलता से परिपूर्ण, यह भाव …
कोई करे कभी प्रश्न मुझसे
परिभाषा क्या है प्रेम की?
न सोचूँगी कुछ भी
न बगलें तकूँगी
बिन सकुचाये
बस ले दूँगी … तुम्हारा नाम … ~

~ Teri soorat ki aanch pe,

Chaashnii si pakti hoon,

Berukhi ka cheenta maar,

Main jalne se darti hoon … ~

~ A singing soul desires to fly,
Not to a post, be tied
The rope stings,
Strangles,
Hurts,
Wounds
Leaves a mark, unsettling on the skin
And the mark stays to burn,
Until the soul stops singing
And dies …
And death … is not a savory nectar,
I presume! ~

~ Adios!

This pretty corner,
Niche to flowers and poets and poetry,
Blooming and blossoming,
In ways, sundry …
This wailing tree,
Its head asunder, heeding to siren call
Its roots and arms, chopped-off,
Three shady periods ago,
And thus, to here I belong
No more,
No more,
No more! ~