~
Woh manzar,
Jab ek sendh lagi deewar,
Munh utha kar,
Dekhti hai,
Uss tezz chamakte taare ki taraf …
Ya wo' guzar chuki bahar,
Palat kar dekhti hai,
Beete kal ke paar,
Jab aam ka pedh phalne to tayar tha …
Donon ka hota hai,
Bas ek hi unkaha sawaal —
Kya koi tarkeeb hai, ki
Main phir se bhar jaoon?
Aur, main wapas aa paoon? ~
~ My eyes would sing of a pain,
A silky song of bleary disdain,
Of nights stolen of their sleep,
And of dreams, maimed vain!
Ek nagma hai rista ankhon
se,
Nazar pe ho jaise resham lipte,
Nagma wo’ neendon ke chori ka,
Aur khawaab, jo gaye kuchle! ~
~ Words so alive in my crafty ruby satchel,
Enduring the torture of slow melting
All wet, kind and delicious,
In your temperate mouth,
So often but longingly sweet,
Tangy,
Sour,
Bitter,
Salty
And sometimes, oh so bland!
Snapping,
Biting,
Piercing,
Stabbing,
Caressing,
The innocent flesh of your thirsty tongue,
And yes that ever-so wandering mind!
A wild, pretty witch I am,
Riding your serene senses high and fine …
Good or wicked,
May be ‘later’ you would wish to decide —
Held prisoner to the words of a poet —
Bewitched, when you are not! ~
~
Zakhm itna gehra diya,
Phir
na usse bharne diya,
Aaj
agar who nasoor hai
Kahan,
kiska kasoor hai? ~
~ Neeli deewaron pe,
Jab sannata,
Ulte paun
Rengta hai …
Ye jaane
Kis kism ki neend
Mujh pe
Ungliyan pherti hai …
Garam,
Makhmali tanhaayi,
Ki godd mein sir rakh ke,
Apni becheni
Dhak leti hoon
Aur main ankhen
Bas
band kar leti hoon … ~
~ Vengeance is best served cold,
Much alike a dish of home-made salad,
And so is the icy hatred, at pure behest …
You hate most whom you love most, they say,
And I know of none but you, this and every day,
But the more I try to hate you now,
Casting away all, in tandem with ‘how’
I keep losing my ends,
My wit, my bends …
Hate is the emotion, never meant for you,
Say now, what do I do? ~
~Who
plays ‘The Mistress’?
A
huge belly, jelly like, making my knees go week and feet wobbly, I carried
arrogantly in my last month of pregnancy. I liked, enjoyed a hell lot going out
with it, flaunting it to the world, saying it out loud through the keen glaze
of my eyes, “Look! I am going to be a mother soon, very soon!”
Going out with that overly swollen belly, with my husband holding my side, did
become one daily affair, you know, for the love of street-food and late-night
movies, despite the havoc-salsa the weathered minds danced around our happy
programs. Though we were not totally and specifically careless, you see, for we
loved our approaching baby more. We used to hunt down the most hygiene adhering
place to let me devour in my newly found love for food, spicy to mention least.
My devoted husband would dutifully drive me to the places. I loved him so much
for that and more. It was pure fun, in the face of how oddly heavy, funny, and
almost balancing at the edge of some wacky crag I felt. I loved it all. I
really did.
And while I would sit, or even stand at times, waiting to be served and fed
well, or for the movie tickets afterward, my husband fussing about and around
my pregnancy-driven-desire at a distance from me, everybody passing-by would
ogle me. I knew, I was not some beauty then with inflamed skin patchy and
blemished, pocketed further with super-bouncy adipose tissues. Apparently then
for my belly size? I must have looked out of place, or rather misplaced. So,
they just stared. And then simply walked away.
They have got my baby now, three years old. They took it from me, my in-laws
did. My husband changed from dutiful to cold, very, very cold. Today, they
showed me out, leaving me no home to return to. And it’s getting dark, so dark
outside, and inside. Night is all I can see and feel overhead.
My belly is not flawlessly flat but has deflated with time, with little stretch
marks to remind me of the private time I took with my three years old, for absolute
delightful nine-months. I look no beauty even now.
But
people … they still are staring, and then simply walking away. ~
~
Salaam arz hai, tauheen e parda na kahen,
Rukh
unka, haye, chilman be'imaan ho gaye … ~
~ Uljhi hoon yun tujh mein,
Ki
suljhan se koson door hui … ~
~ Usool’n mujhe, tujh ko, yun
toh kab ka bhool jaana tha,
Kambakh’t ishq, be-usooli se
hi ishq e waabasta kar baitha! ~
~ With age,
And countless falls,
With hurts, sores,
Wounds and bruises,
With many more lessons
to earn,
I shall learn a better
Poetry …
Death enduringly
endearing,
A very sick life,
Patiently waiting ……………
Cut me deep, let me
bleed now,
Ergo, I may become a
Poet,
A very real one … ~
~ Sukhan asal wahi jiss mein
haqeeqii hawalah rahe, aur,
Haq tum nahin, iss ki bayaani
ye’ kora safha phir kare!
Writing on facts tends to be
the most profound, hence,
Blank page remains an alibi,
to an illusion of You! ~
~ Crackers,
Colors, squashed and
stuffed,
Like a kid gobbling up
all the jellies, caramels and nougats …
Candles standing taut
in candelabrum,
Sky
lanterns spilling light all around,
Little
pure candela,
Licking
oil sodden wick,
Self-gratified,
dipped and bathing in an earthen Diya …
Sweets,
blithe smiles,
Illuminated,
mirth radiating, this night,
Again more
and more, a little more sweets,
And … ah, such
weight gain ……
Melody is
in bits, and also abounds …
Happy
Diwali to all my happy faces! ~
~
Ek muddat hui, dar O darwaze khole baithe hain,
Suna
kiye ki band dar, aahton ko pii sa jaate hain …
Zaaya
na jaye, koi lamha, humare intezaar ka yun,
‘Aah’
hum har shab-sahar, do dafa bhar lete hain … ~
~ Tujhe na dekh kar,
Kahin zyada dekh rahi hoon main …
In a way immersed more in you,
Whilst seemingly I look away from you … ~
~ Love,
… You may
have,
Million
reasons,
To ignore
me,
To let go
off,
What we
have,
Left in
bits,
Tired,
torn moments,
Albeit
dried, molded crumbs,
Lying between
us …
But, I
would always know,
Only one,
that,
You wanted
me …
… no more...
anymore!
Would you
still leave me?
Stay … if you can …… ~
~ Am I loved? ~
‘You are no more loved’
Becomes my favorite door for a fateful, unripe
exit …
Before it’s too late for you or me,
Say it, all that you wish to be,
For I hate breaking promises,
Especially those, I made to you,
When Sun was keeping its,
By lingering nearby,
Of being close, though not in sight,
While the long fingers of wild-blue,
Swathed in lovely, studded, dark night …
Since sun was not to leave the moon, alone,
As promised … you see …
You remember ours, yours or mine?
Or, were they been sheaved then,
Only to be stacked, left … to be forgotten?
As earnestly as forgetting me!
But … before I step outside this unkind door,
Just tell me once, will you please,
Am I loved still?
~ Love,
Yes, I have been the extremities of two, of
smiles and anger, of indifference and possession, of sweet and ugly, of truths
and lies, of hatred and then inanely in love again, of sleeps and impatience,
of raw and serene, and also of being myself and none of myself for You!
And at times, only a vague remembrance, left of
both ends.
No doubt … you call me mad ……
Am I not? Mad? ~
~ Khawaab
ab sote nahin, raat jo theh'rti nahin,
Kahan se
dhoond laaun, neend bhi milti nahin,
Qaid bani khawaaish, sayyad si
khud hui main,
Ek jaan,
ab udi ki tab udi, phir kyon udti nahin? ~
~ At times,
I feel my
voice,
Going
shallow,
Thoughts,
Sinking
deep,
Filling
the cavity, in my shriveling chest,
Like
hiding surreptitiously,
Connivingly,
Even from
myself ...
It happens
mostly, when,
I'm afraid
of losing you,
Or,
When
afraid of losing,
Myself to
you ...
Let me
hide,
This only
time,
And may
be, sometime again! ~
~ Adna sa
dil, adna si hi iss ki ye' haqeeqat,
Shuru
tum se, khatam tum pe, ye' rafaqat!
**rafaqat - closeness (companionship) ~
~ Kehte hain,
Ye' sab
hi,
Muhabbat
ki,
Koi tang
raasta umar nai hoti ...
Bata do
mujhe,
Tum,
Kis umar
mein miloge?
Ussi umar
ke muntazir,
Ta'umar,
Muhabbat
karoongi,
Tum hi se!
~
~ They
say,
Falling in
love,
Doth fall
not, for any taut age ...
So, would
ye,
Tell me
now,
The age,
I'd have,
Ye, as
mine?
For,
whilst I'm waiting,
I can
still love thee,
Unto then,
and may be,
A little
more! ~
~ Lies ...
I ONLY hate ...
Something
You also know,
And still
--
Ah, how
well you lied to me,
With
innocence,
That too a
lie ...
Now, what
you're to me,
(You know
well),
And 'cause
I no more cry,
Yell, or
say bye,
I will
ONLY smile ...
A smile,
To You,
My first
lie! ~
~ Riway'ti zarooriya't ki godd
main, mujhe kab tal'k beh'lna hai,
Kis kadar toh sambhal chuki hoon, ab zara zara
bikharna hai ...
Mere marz ki dawa, uff, hakeem e jaan ka bhi
ye hi kehna hai,
Har ek 'ah' se pehle aur baad, ahiste ahiste, saans
bharna hai ... ~
~ Saans
aur tum, donon mein zyada munafiq(hypocrite), kaun sa raabta raha,
Uljha inn masaayilon(ques) mein, tamaam raat,
kal main jaagta raha,
Waabasta(related)
shayad meri marzi se donon hi, chorha phir bhi tum ne,
Malaal(grief) mein araasta(adorned) der raat,
qurb(near) saanson ko main kosta raha! ~
~ Kaisi girho'n main uljhe
jaati hain, ye surkh palkhen tumhari,
Kastoori dhoondte ho, ya bhula de usse phir,
aisi khumaari?
Wherefore, thy weary eyes hath entangled, to
lose their sheen,
Searching for thy musk, or to forget it, an
intoxication so keen? ~
~
Kaash, ki ye pur’tapish saans, hui hoti naseem,
Kaash,
‘gar jo ho paati main, tujh se, marasim …
If
only, this charred breath, could become breezy,
If
only, to woo you till I breathe my last, was easy … ~
~
Shadeed sunne waale qayaam kiye, par Gul murjhaya be-awaaz hi,
Bhanw’re
be-araam jo aaj hain, kyon Guncha masail e bazaar ho?
Flower
wilted without a moan, howsoever keen ears homed around,
If,
Bumblebees drone today aloud, why should a Bloom astound? ~
