Musings

~ Kyonki wo’ gham ka, aur gham unka waseela hain,

Ye tanhayi, mohtaram, kis soorat mujh se door rahe! ~

~ Wo' jo jhukta hai tu, kaan mein kehne, koi ek nayi baat;
Garam saanson se, pighal jaati hoon main, phir ek baar! ~

~ Qadmon mein lipta, saaya hoon tumhara;
Zara ahiste chalo, majeed takleef hoti hai! ~

~ Um'meeden nasaaz sahi,
Um'meed se theen kal tak;
Lamhat ki seedi se phisal,
Na-um'meed hui hain ab!

Ye baanjpan, ye marhoomi,
Inki mayoosi kya bataoon;
Ankhon ki kokh sooni rahi,
Khawaab kahan le jaaoon! ~

~ Dekho mujhe aadat hai tumhari,

Waise hi jaise saans lene ki.

Buzurgon ka farmaya —

“Kisi aadat ki aadat buri baat hai”

Durust hi hoga!

Woh mehez (shayad) ek lat hai,

Haule haule nason mein risti hui,

Paani ke mand bahaav si, haina?

Saans lene ki ho, ya, tumhari.

Haalanki kayi dafa koshish ki,

Tauba kar loon, saari laton se …

Par seena ghut-ta sa hai pehle,

Aur phir aadaten daud aati hain,

Khalaaon ko bharne. ~

~ She can’t write him off,

In ink laden with morose!

For how feasible it is,

To inflict upon herself,

A such blinding pain,

Of burn, Again and again! ~

~ Haraam hua hai, mujh pe, ek bhi woh lamha;

Unse bewafaa, bhulaawe sa, agar guzra hai!

Curse be upon me, and cursed be that moment,

For passing by – empty on beloved’s thoughts! ~

~ Sulag rahi hoon, angaaron pe tere;

Gunah baaqi raha, wo’ kab karoon?

If one is in penitence for the sin never committed, not until now; deliverance of that sin shouldn't seem long overdue then? ~

~ Bahaanon ki darkaar na rahe, tere saath ke liye;
Main aisa, khud ka Jahaan, dhoond nikaloongi! ~

~ Shahar mere jism ka, Unki Zaat se, tarsaa hua;
Fanaa nahin hoti rooh, Unse Sune, ek arsa hua! ~

~ Our nearest tryst
(As you say, soon it shall be)
And I will kiss
The corner of thy lower lip;
To lick off the words,
Leaking from the
Loveliest of mouths! ~

~ Ghaafil sada ke, aur yun ghaafil hi, rahenge;
Woh masroof, be'zubaan hum bhi, rahenge!

Deewaron mein, baarish ka, utarna ho jaise,
Pyaase alfaz, khaamosh qatre pii, bahenge!

Deewar aur hum,
Na unse, kuch bhi kahenge … ~

~ Layers,
After layers
Of nonsensical woven covering,
You peeled me.

And my eyes –
Yet could not shy away,
When your fingers traced,
And Talked.

For over my dewy skin;
Under your bare rambling,
Chattering, and some slangs,
I wore my Bohemian Soul!

I did not feel,
Warmth such enhanced,
Any before ……

Why should then I lament this nakedness?  ~

~ Muse,
That was one moment --
You were gone without me,
I came to know.

So,
I released,
From the cage of hope,
All days and nights,
I dreamed for us.

Wings were fluttered,
Noise was made,
I cared nothing
For I had shut my eyes
So tight, to life.

And they flew away,
Like you did.
To be gone! Alone!

And I sit now,
Listless
Staring at baggage,
Waiting to be UnPacked
Somehow. ~

~ Paron se woh jhulsa hua;
Jism bhi, kab ka rakh hua!
Dhuan ho gaya dil bhi aaj;
Patanga khaak khaak hua! ~

~ Tamaashagheen, bade shauk se, banti hai ye duniya;
Maza aaye hai jo 'Unko', banne mein, banaane mein! ~

~ Wasta hai Khuda ka, aur kis qadar sataoge,
Mujh sa 'muflis', khaak khaak, nahin paoge!
Daana daana, hai 'ishq' uth gaya naseeb se;
Ujde shahr ki, biyabaani bhi, samet le jaoge? ~

~ Tu chahta hai rehaii mujhse,
Main teri beparwahii se …

Tu sanjeeda ek khawaaish kar aaj,
Main sitaara ban, toot jaaungi! ~

~ Yahan garmi bohot hai …
Mere aangan ki mitti,
Sookh gayi hai.

Ek paed hai par,
Kuch kuch hara sa
Aur uske aas paas,
Mitti ke seene ko chaak kar,
Ghaans ugi hai.
Jo umas ki kokh mein,
Oss dhoondti hai
Roz subah …

Tumhari bohot yaad aati hai,
Aajkal …
Par bataun kaise tumhain?
Rozana ek Chitthi likhti hoon,
(Bahana hi sahi)
Mausam ka haal byaan karti,
Aur tumhara d'ryaaft karti …
Woh bhi bheeg jaati hai.

Paed ki tehniyaan,
Ghaans ko khelta dekh,
Roti bohot hain …

Aur mera likha sab,
Mitti pii jaati hai.
Pyaas bhi kya cheez hai …… haina? ~

~ 'Main' mein ab main nahin;
Main khud ko kal chorh aayi …

'Ainy' has disowned her 'i',
Do i know this new Any? ~

~ Muse,

With you, she can fight any gloom and hurt;
Without you, her anguished-self will defeat her!

Tonight,
She needs you even more,
Much more than before.

Replenish,
The wretched girl
By replying to her call!

She needs you more than before … ~

~ Dilli, teri nisbat, badi sasti rahi;
Main jaata raha … tu hasti rahi …

Deewaren, ye, kab ki dhe gayin;
Eenth eenth, phir bhi, basti rahi …

Tu hasti rahi …… ~

~ Richly, I scribe,
Orphan and poor screed-anecdotes
Of my life,
Almost camouflaged but,
Into neat, lyrical poemS
(To win your love profound) …
So that when I am gone,
Someone, very kind,
Uncorks
The bottled up
Frizziness
Of my mind!

And reads me!

Writing reviews,
Calling out notes,
To resolve the confounded me
Which I couldn't do when I was alive!

I thus now confide! ~

~ Falak ke labon pe, teri geeli hansi chidk doon,

Khud ko sukhanwar, tujhe sukhan likh doon!

Tune ek qadam chala, tara ek yahan chamka;

Tere chalne ka naam, Jaana, shab rakh doon! ~

~ Illumined – softly and elegantly, like the prettiest night one would ever behold! ~

~ Baithak mein jo kathayi-neeli Qaleen hai …

Kone mein, uss Qaleen ke neeche,  

Saalon ki dhool ke parde mein lipte

Kuch ek Kisse, apni neend so rahe hain …

Ehtiyaat se jhaadna aur modna,

Kal — uss Qaleen ko tum —

Kisse woh zara naazook tabiyat ke hain …

Unhe sirf meri thapki ki aadat rahi hai! ~

~ How I wish this night to pass;

I so long for a beautiful morrow! ~ 

~ Rakh pehlu mein, usse fir aaghaaz de;

Hai aisa kahin, koi? Mujhe awaaz de!

Qaid ke khauf se, roti hai meri ‘bulbul’;

Hatheli pe samet, usse koi parwaaz de! ~

~ Kaanse ka, ya, peetal sa
Muntazir e har nazar
Hai pyaala
Ek bhikaari ka!

Sawaali,
Taras wali,
Dekho phir, khanke sikke!
Nazarandaaz karti teen nazren;
Aur do ki, hui diwali
Utha ke, khaamosh sikke!

Khaali hua,
Dheemi aanch pe
Onthta chauraha;
Aur pyaala
Ek bhikaari ka! ~

~ Toofan se pehle,
Toofan ke baad
Chirhiya si,
Tinke samet-ti rahi main … ~

~ You are too precious a happening,
To doubt your occurrence!

A mirage, even if you are;
I should not blink my glazed eyes,

To become a non-believer,
And lose you! ~

~ May not,

Be my affection—

Its honest tassels,

Running amok—

Singed to ashes

In the disparity,

So hot!

I wish’t, and

You wish’t not! ~

~ A petty penny in your pocket is love; only until you don’t lose it!

And then you are on all your four … ~ 

~ A long path I walked in search of divinity, yet which was found as I lay fast asleep in this grave. A mere remembrance of love that I sought, I become!

Devoid of pursuit, indeed, my heart is dark and cold. And yours too. ~

~ An ecstatic, frenzied dance,
Sweetest, heart-rending song,
Painted into one clear-chaos
Inundating margins,
Saddest verses ever to born!

Gravest grief lives UnSpoKeN,
In these subtle expressions ... ~

~ Mujhe sakht chidd hai, seene mein baithi ghutan se;
Waqt bewaqt, ye' kambhakht … cheekhti bohot hai! ~

~Aur unki gaadi ‘Ah’ se ‘Unh’ pohnchi badi jaldi;

Suna tha inn do shahron ka faasla bohot hai… ~

~ Raasta mera sehraa hoga, nikloon jab bhi iss dar se;

Kam se kam, manzil ko mere, ‘dil’ tu saraab kar de! ~

~ Hawa mein hawa si, ho gayi woh 'ainy';
Tasbeeh sa, usko, kya ab bhi padhte ho?

To air, that 'ainy' perished, and gave herself away;
Yet, on rosary beads, do you still chant her name? ~

~ Mere ‘ghar’ ki choti-badi deewaron se, mitti aur paani choote hain;

‘Bibi, zung mein kyon tabdeel hui jaati ho?’ aur log maza lete hain! ~

~ Haathon se masalkar, mujh ko, phir Supurd e Khaak kar dala;
Nighebaani mein de hawaon ke, apne ghar gaya karne wala! ~

~ Chann ki awaaz, aur paeron tak ludkta, ek tukda aata hai;
Kahin, kuch zara aur bikhar gayi main, pata chal jaata hai! ~

~ 'Dil',
Zauq e Qatl milna,
Ki tera rooth jaana! ~

~ Samun'dar kii talhati ko, choom ke aayen,
Chal, tu aur main, Shankh Seepi ban jayen!

Seene mein, nagaadon sa Shor, qaid kar ke,
Thehre paani se zara, Sukoon maang layen;

Kamsin gehrai ki kokh ko, ek moti, de aayen,
Chal, tu aur main, Shankh Seepi ban jayen! ~

~ Rota bohot hai,
Iss ko sula deti hoon

Seene mein, nahin, jab sambhalta hai,
Neend ko, nazdeek apne, bula leti hoon

Ye rota bohot hai … ~

~ Meri kali raaten, sawaali kar gaya woh,
Mujh ko, khud se, khaali kar gaya woh! ~

~ Door gaun,
Peepal chaun
Chiraiya jo phudke
Kopal nihaare, mud mud ke …
Khud hi gaana
Khud hi thumak jaana
Cycle ka ek pahiya,
Koi na sipahiya
Keechad ki naddi
Pehni hai raddi
Iskool ki karti ratt,
Gilli dande ki hatt …
Kitna suhata hai, yun likh jaana,
Utna hi suhata hoga, kya reh paana? ~

~ Jo ander hi ander roti hoon,
Mere ansu kahan gir jaate hain? ~

~ Tera maazi nahin satata tha, tab talak,

Zinda na hua, teri ‘Aahon’ se, jab talak! ~

~ Khel khel mein,
Zindagi, khel ho gayi …

Gaalon mein dabaye alfaaz,
Mutthi mein chupaye ansu;

Mere aanchal mein … subakte subakte …
Woh aaj, phir so gayi!

Khel khel mein,
Zindagi, khel ho gayi … ~

~ Pages,
Stories,
And You ...
Where am I alone?

Thousand voices,
And an eternity together,
I house in me!

Ecstasy! Ecstasy! Ecstasy! ~

~ Guzar ho tera, aur mehke meri mitti, toh hairan na hona;
Qiwaam e zindagi sa, mujh mein, 'Tu' ab bhi ravaan hai!

While you pass by, and my grave smells new and nice, be not astounded;
For as the essence of life, in my soul's veins, that 'You' still run and thrive! ~

~ What a concentrated fool I may have been to find indulgence in this drudgery of looking for myself outside– under yellowing foliage and over trampled grass; when I am nowhere but blooming in you, Beloved of mine! ~

~ Love me, and I should not fail to love you ten thousand times; but only, do not own the urge to esteem me as a possession!

#a Woman who loves. ~

~ Spring,
Swell of sweetly scented breaths;
Blossoming in tender blue, rich yellow.

Spring,
Gleam of cherry, a plump purple berry—
And green tendrils lazying on the walls,
Of proud patio, and each, coy courtyard!
Thus, so, sketching my countryside …

Spring,
Sojourning, in Your Eyes, growing wild;
Each day of the year, I watch with mine. ~

~ She is
Afraid
To provoke
But often fancies
A land,
With hillocks,
Folding in their breast
Merry gurgling brooks,
Where moored forever are pretty little boats
Sheep fondling the frills of
An old empty barn.
Beholding this and such more,
Herself and You!
To tell, thus,
She ain't escaping
Alone! ~

~ Tightening my grip,
On their little fingers
I pulled a little closer
And murmured— gaze incisive,
To my dazed Words,
"So much like a braid— ill woven,
A twisted turn there is,
Too sombre and blind
For you, and for me,
To have ever seen …
Walk tight, will you all,
Lest we go asunder!
Not you though, but
There, yes, somewhere,
I may falter, and be lost!” ~

~ For each time,

In pain, writhes
My silent heart,

Yours shall bawl
Until wells run dry! ~

~ Deepest and darkest secrets,
In the ear,
Nevertheless whispered, or maybe not,
'The Shoulder' is never too far
Yours, and mine. ~

~ Let
Death kiss me,
And become
My unrelenting Beloved,
The day
I forget
How your shy soul
Crooned
The searing
Yet sweetest kisses
Of Agape Love
On the lips
Of my
Hungry soul! ~

~ None
Of your kind
There is.
And after
SEEING you,
My heart
Wouldn't let me take
Any less.

If love
Ever decides
To have a face
It shall
Resemble you.
Mastered by love?
Aye!
I am mastered
Irrevocably
By you. ~

~ Tum, ujla chaand ho,
Main, tal hoon, jheel ka …

Pighli raat ke resham mein
Lipte … tum … jheel ke gaalon pe,
Phisal aate ho … khamosh boond se …
Aur alhad chaandni ko, kinaare baitha
Utaar jhilmil pairahan, wahin kahin tika,
Tal mein kho jaate ho …

Aur logon ne … nadaani mein,
Chaand aur jheel ke, milne ke kisse
Yun hi aam kar diye … ~

~ Baras rahi hoon,
Shaam se sahar...
Par badri ke seene mein,
Lagta ghubaar bohot hai … ~

~ Jhiriyon se keewad ki
Baarish ki baucharon mein
Maine hawa ko nahaate dekha … ~

~ Khushfehmi aur
Galat waqt ka meil
Paida karta hai
Galti hi.
Aur aise, tadaad
Badti chali jaati hai …

Unn galtiyon ke dher pe
Jahan takleef
Boond boond tapakti hai
Kaayi
Aur phaphoond
Lag jati hai.

Deemak pachtaave ki
Zehen ki saansein
Chaat chaat
Jaan se be-jaan
Kar jati hai.

Woh aa rahi hai … ~

~ Confounded, my life—
Nicknamed 'Awry Daffodil'
She has found herself a niche
Gathering her tightly-flowered skirt,
And scrunching her little cotton blouse
All niceties done away with!
Keeping her Sun baked
Brown locks tangled in a golden mass,
Which she told me is a pun
Though I believe, she meant it a bun,
Or may be …

Her eyes are red,
Nose engorged, such a flume,
And lips pursed, if not in a not so sober O
Pixie ears seemingly on fire!

Naughty dwarfs and imps on hire
She is painting her annoyance
Nude, red, and cold
All over my azure awning …

Since I forgot to water her,
In the love of YOU, and your few! ~

~ Kyon ek ajnabee,

Ko raazdaar bana lena,

Zyada asaan laga

Jab main chupp rahi hoon unse,

Jo nazdeek rahe

Shayad bohot kareeb they,

Har maayne mein …

Kyon ek ajnabee,

Pehchaan gaya mujhe bheed mein

Aur woh nahin,

Jinke saath, jinn mein, saal dar saal

Kitne dhalte pighalte mausam,

Paani mein namak si

Main ghulti chali gayi …

Kya badal gaya?

Meri soorat

Kyonki main ghuli aur kho gayi, Unmein …

Ya unki seerat

Kyonki mujhe kho jaane diya, unhone …

Nahin bolti ab main

Woh paani kaise reh paate,

Namak ki dali na ho,

Agar main Rang ki deli hoti! ~

~ Raaste, jo tere maskaan se ho ke nahin guzarte,
Unke naksh, meri nigaahon mein, nahin ubharte!

Pathways, and trails, those knowing not of you,
Blind I go, to the dust on them, misting my view! ~

~ Black is the color of loneliness,
And black becomes my dream
That I dream,
with open, blinking eyes!

I do not remember,
How to sleep
Or how to weep …
My eyes are fudge dry! ~